Many people think that in order to reach their goals and live the life they want they need to believe in themselves and be confident. Therefore they spend a lot of time and energy trying to be as confident as possible so that eventually they can do the things they want to do without feeling fear or self-doubt.
This is
the wrong model. In order to pursue your goals and dreams you most likely have
to go out of your comfort zone. Chances are, when you do anything that is new
and outside your comfort zone, you will - by definition - feel uncomfortable
and therefore not confident. The problem here is that if you think that you
need to feel confident to pursue your goals, you will be waiting for a long
time.
Now, I'm
not saying that confidence doesn't help, it most certainly can be helpful. What
I am saying is that confidence is just a feeling and that you don't need it do
ANYTHING. Confidence is an extremely overrated concept. Even people performing
at high levels will often admit that they were anxious and/or nervous during a
performance. While you can't always control your feelings, you can always
control your actions regardless of your feelings.
Ironically,
once you realize that you don't need confidence to do anything, you will most
likely become more confident.
I am by
no means suggesting "faking it until you make it". If you are taking
actions consistent with your goals and values despite how you feel, its exactly the opposite of faking it. You are taking actions according to your authentic values rather than your temporary feelings.
Of
course, all of this is a lot easier said than done. It is tough to take action
despite feeling a certain way. But it is definitely possible. Taking consistent
action despite how you feel is a skill that can be developed. Like any skill,
the more you practice the better you get.
